"Is that all your hair?" "Is that all you?" "That can't be all your hair...right?" These questions have been plaguing me for decades. I understand that curiosity makes people say many things. I've been guilty of this type of curiosity myself. I have, at some point or another, thought to myself "I wonder if that is all her hair". This is a natural thought process and I get that. The difference between curiosity and rudeness, however, is ASKING. Wonder all you like. I do. I wonder if someone gets their hair professionally colored or they do it themselves. I wonder if someone who is older dyes their hair to cover the greys or if they haven't greyed yet. I'm curious about the woman who is over 50 with an incredible body...did she have liposuction? Did she have a nose job? Is her perky buttocks the result of implants or does she naturally have a fantastic caboose? My answer to these questions in my head is always the same: "I'm not sure but good for her cause she looks GREAT!" I may even tell her in passing how gorgeous she looks. I will NEVER, however, take it upon myself to ASK her those questions for several reasons: 1) It's NONE OF MY BUSINESS 2) It's invasive and rude 3) It doesn't matter because either way she looks great and 4) Did I already say it's none of my business? Well it's NOT! These questions and beauty secrets are for each woman ALONE to keep and hold on to. Maybe she did have liposuction, maybe she didn't. If she looks fantastic then why can't we just say: "You look fantastic!" The point here is respect and dignity. It is considered rude and invasive to ask questions such as: Are those your real teeth? Did you get butt implants? Do you cover up your grey hair? Are those your real eyes or contacts? Is that your natural face or did you have a facelift? Are you naturally thin or did you have liposuction? Let's add to that list: Is that your real hair?
Although it IS my real hair, sometimes I want to say it's not, just to make people experience the awkwardness I'm feeling in the moment: "No, this is a wig. I have a terrible disease that makes my hair fall out and I'm really self-conscience about it. Thank you for making me admit that and for ruining my day." That takes a lot of energy. Energy and time that I'd much rather put into something more positive. So I just smile and say: "Yes it is." Then the compliments rain down. They now don't mean anything since the sentence started with an insult. The next time you see someone who looks good, and you're wondering if their hair, nails, teeth, eyes, nose, cheekbones are real...count it as one of life's great mysteries and keep the questions to yourself. Make someone's day brighter, tell her she looks amazing and don't ask why.
Do you get questions that drive you insane? Share in the comment section below!